Donnerstag, 22. August 2019

Her 70th birthday

They invited me to a birthday party on Saturday. It was a stormy affair.

Already an old girl, just a young 70, still wild for new friends. The good old LENORA* has a great heart.

When I entered, she cuddled the Gau (“Gauweiler”) and the stork (“von Storch”). The Gau just slobbered, drunken by joy, about something like fly shit (referring to the crimes of the ‚1000-year-old‘ Nazi Empire). The stork (“von Storch”) babbled about shooting refugee children.
Beside them, the slightly moronic ‘Mir san Mir’ (‘CSU’) were standing and looking longingly. Yes, I understand them, the Seehofer, the Stoiber and the Dorothea Bär and all the other incessious, lonely mountain-and-valley inhabitants. Nobody around here sought their company. Oh, and the Söder standing back of them with the beScheuert, I wonder if they are hatching a provincial farce again?

The chief assholes (CDU) were a little offside and bored. Everyone knows them: Merkel, fat Altmeyer, Klöckner and AKK. They came along with their lapdogs, a breed of SPDler, something you can find not only in LENORA . Funny how they scurried around the legs of their masters. Sometimes they barked, but only to attract the attention of the Mutti (Merkel).  She allowed them licking her fingers (nothing disgusts her!) and they were good again.

Mrs. Warmalgerecht  appeared for the German Linke.
And for the envious, as always in yellow, the Lindner.
Occasionally you could see a few green garden gnomes, but they were just smoking pot.

As  LENORA  discovered me, she came up and greeted me:
“Hello, citizen, welcome. I am glad to see you coming and leaving again without attracting attention”!
“I notice you are in excellent company”, I said.
“Yes, isn’t it? But unfortunately a few cancelled.” She moaned.
“Well, for example, the DEMOCRACY, the FREEDOM, the HUMN DIGNTY and the GERMAN BASIC LAWS,” she said.
“And why?
“Saying they no longer belonged with me and they would just disturb this great celebration. Now, tell me, citizen. Understand this?”
“Forget them! They probably think they are better,” Seehofer interrupted our conversation as usual. Once again driven by the well-known Bavarian overconfidence and there self-hating inferiority feelings.
Disgusted, we looked for distance.
“I need to take care of my guests now! Thank you, citizen, for your wishes! And don’t forget: It’s also nice when you leave,” She said at the farewell.

That I did with great joy. First, I had to puke extensively in the fresh air, dazed by so much closeness to the citizens and love for the freedom and democracy of these incompetent CUMLICKERS.

She only turns seventy once.

* LENORA = Germany, by Lenor, a well-known fabric softener

 Mir san Mir = CSU (an arch-conservative Bavarian political Mini-party)

 chief asshole = CDU (like Republican Party)

Links = the Communist Party

 envious = FDP Liberal Party

green garden gnomes = Ecological Party

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