They invited me to a birthday party on Saturday. It was a stormy affair.
Already an old girl, just a young 70, still wild for new friends.
The good old LENORA*
has a great heart.
When I entered, she cuddled the Gau (“Gauweiler”) and the
stork (“von Storch”). The Gau just slobbered, drunken by joy,
about something like fly shit (referring to the crimes of the
‚1000-year-old‘ Nazi Empire). The stork (“von Storch”)
babbled about shooting refugee children.
Beside them, the slightly moronic ‘Mir san Mir’
(‘CSU’) were standing and looking longingly. Yes, I
understand them, the Seehofer, the Stoiber and the Dorothea Bär and
all the other incessious, lonely mountain-and-valley
inhabitants. Nobody around here sought their company. Oh, and the
Söder standing back of them with the beScheuert, I wonder if
they are hatching a provincial farce again?
The chief assholes (CDU) were a little offside and bored. Everyone
knows them: Merkel, fat Altmeyer, Klöckner and AKK. They came
along with their lapdogs, a breed of SPDler, something you can
find not only in LENORA .
Funny how they scurried around the legs of their masters. Sometimes
they barked, but only to attract the attention of the Mutti
(Merkel). She allowed them licking her fingers (nothing
disgusts her!) and they were good again.
Mrs. Warmalgerecht appeared for the German Linke.
And for the envious, as always in yellow, the Lindner.
Occasionally you could see a few green garden gnomes, but
they were just smoking pot.
discovered me, she came up and greeted me:
“Hello, citizen, welcome. I am glad to see you coming and
leaving again without attracting attention”!
“I notice you are in excellent company”, I said.
“Yes, isn’t it? But unfortunately a few cancelled.” She
“Well, for example, the DEMOCRACY, the FREEDOM, the HUMN DIGNTY
and the GERMAN BASIC LAWS,” she said.
“Saying they no longer belonged with me and they would just
disturb this great celebration. Now, tell me, citizen. Understand
“Forget them! They probably think they are better,” Seehofer
interrupted our conversation as usual. Once again driven by the
well-known Bavarian overconfidence and there self-hating inferiority
Disgusted, we looked for distance.
“I need to take care of my guests now! Thank you, citizen, for
your wishes! And don’t forget: It’s also nice when you leave,”
She said at the farewell.
That I did with great joy. First, I had to puke extensively in the
fresh air, dazed by so much closeness to the citizens and love for
the freedom and democracy of these incompetent CUMLICKERS.
turns seventy once.
= Germany, by Lenor, a well-known fabric softener
Mir san Mir = CSU (an arch-conservative Bavarian political
chief asshole = CDU (like Republican Party)
Links = the Communist Party
envious = FDP Liberal Party
green garden gnomes = Ecological Party